Talking To Trees
by Blossom of Death
Summary: The Marauders had simply gotten lost in the woods, so how had it turned into the 'What's Remmy's Fear' game? oneshot


**A.N.: Hope you enjoy this very short one-shot.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**Title: Talking to Trees**

"We're lost," James groaned, "After all our years wondering around this forest, we're lost!"

Sirius' and Peter's stomachs both growled loudly, so Sirius added, "And hungry...very hungry."

Remus glanced at his watch, "It's only been twenty minutes since you two devoured the last of my Honeydukes chocolate, so shut up."

"Jeez, you don't have to be so snippy about it," Peter replied.

Remus just shook his head at them and muttered, "I don't see how we got lost. We didn't take any routes we haven't taken before."

Unknown to them, Severus Snape had seen them enter the Forbidden Forest and cast a spell to make them lose their way. The "Half Blood Prince" was now sitting in the Slytherin common room wearing a self-satisfied smirk.

After about thirty or so minutes, the boys began hearing a noise behind them.

"M-maybe it's a-a mermaid," Peter stuttered, he had had a fear of mermaids since he was young.

"Mermaids. Live. In. Water," Remus rubbed his temples to keep his headache at bay while Sirius and James laughed at Peter.

"M-maybe they f-found a way t-to w-walk on land," Peter stuttered.

Remus didn't even bother to say anything, but Sirius did, "That's right, Pete. They're slowly stalking us as we speak."

Peter looked like he was going to wet himself.

"Oh good Godric," Remus muttered as he walked over and parted the shrubbery to reveal a squirrel, "See it's only a..."

He was cut off by a high-pitched scream that was coming from James, "Eeeeeeeeek! A SQUIRREL!!! RUN!!!!"

Peter looked from James to the squirrel and back again, "And he thinks I'm bad."

The squirrel wandered off, ignoring the four crazy teenage boys.

As soon as the squirrel was out of sight, James stopped clutching Sirius, "Phew...and I'll have you know that squirrels attacked me when I was little. At least my fear is well founded...unlike Pete's."

"Hey! It is too! For your information I...," Peter began, only to be cut off by Remus.

"We've heard that story way too many times, Peter, so shut it."

And so continued the boys' trip through the Forbidden Forest. Peter being constantly worried about merpeople, James and Sirius laughing at Pete, and Remus shaking his head at all the nonsense.

The routine was broken by Sirius stopping dead in his tracks and sniffing the air.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus asked.

"I smell something...," Sirius murmured.

"We've gathered that, mate. Now tell us what it is," James said.

"It's...it's a...," Sirius pointed to where beautiful white hair could be seen, "Unicorn! Remmy, hide me!"

At this point the unicorn ran away and Remus was prying Sirius off of him.

"Why are you afraid of unicorns?" Remus asked as he removed a very scared Sirius from where he had latched onto his arm.

Sirius laughed nervously, "I guess I've watched too many episodes of When Unicorns Attack."

Remus opened his mouth to point out that such a show didn't exist and that even if it did Sirius wasn't likely to have seen it, but just shook his head and continued walking.

"Well, all of our fears have been revealed...looks like it's Remmy's turn," Peter grinned.

"Yeah..I bet it's a bunny rabbit," James laughed.

"Or a niffler," Sirius added.

"Maybe a bowtruckle," Peter guessed.

Remus shook his head at all of them, but they persisted with the 'Guess Remmy's Fear' game.

"Bubbles?" that was Peter.

"Heights?" A more reasonable guess from James.

Sirius snapped his fingers, "I've got it! Minnie! Remus is afraid of Minnie!"

"No, Sirius, I'm not afraid of Professor McGonagall, and you know she hates being called that," Remus replied.

"I've got one better," James began, "Remus is afraid of Minnie _and _Dumbledore."

"What?" Peter asked.

"You know...together..doing stuff," James waved his hands about to emphasize his point, but poor Peter still didn't get it.

However, Remus and Sirius did, and both of them had disgusted expressions on their faces.

Sirius recovered quickly and said, "I knew those two would get together."

Remus meanwhile had just finished ramming his head against a tree and then sat down on it.

"I really think this outing is stressing him mentally," James murmured.

"Sorry tree," Remus mumbled to the plant.

"I concur," Sirius nodded at James' statement.

Remus seemed to realize what he'd said and his eyes widened, "I'm talking to a tree...a dead tree!"

The other Marauder's burst into fits of laughter at the expression on Remus' face.

**A.N.: Hope you liked it well enough...this whole thing originated because I did indeed talk to a tree that I had sat on and proceeded to exclaim "Omg! I'm talking to a tree...a dead tree!"** **So even if I own nothing else, I own that quote. Review please.**

**:Libby-chan:**


End file.
